SIGNATURE REFRESH

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This form from the council came today,

‘Signature refresh’ the header says,

For the postal vote, they must make sure

I write my name in the same old ways.

So I sign their box, but it makes me think

Of the way my signature has slipped

From the crisp italic I learned in school,

To scribbly illegible spider script.

Like when you sign for delivery folks,

On that box with its screen and bleeping sound,

The stylus won’t work, so your finger must serve

To claim your parcel they’ve carted round.

You point and wiggle and try to oblige,

You make that joke you always make,

It bears no resemblance to your name,

Very easy to laugh at, and easier to fake.

If the tiny stylus is still attached,

By its little lanyard an inch too short,

I always by accident press something wrong

So must sign ten times for the stuff I’ve bought.

We don’t get the practice we used to get,

Fewer sign a cheque when they bank online

So I sigh and I sign, I sign and I sigh,

(And I didn’t add kisses, so it's gone just fine!)